Sweet Motherhood

I'm back!

2012-02-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

Well, folks, I have been so busy I have not blogged in ages. I must say, I miss it. I have so much to share. My baby boy is now 20 months old! And his sister is now 4. The little man listed in the birth story below is now an extremely active toddler chasing his sister around the house, climbing on tables, standing on chairs... the whole nine yards.

Career wise, I landed a job in L&D! Sort of. I still work pediatrics part-time at one hospital and am in the (what seems to be a very long) process of training in L&D at another hospital. I got my foot in the door by working prn on their peds/postpartum floor and I'm so happy they are letting me train in L&D. They know it's my heart to work there, but it seems the some of the doctors despise new people (I'm not even joking) so they're wanting to give me a good long orientation more so that the docs will warm up to me. Yes, it's as much drama as it sounds. But so far working L&D has been worth it.

I've already seen some very sad stuff like stillbirths and d&c's (misscairages), but nothing is as thrilling as watching sweet babies being born. I think it's amazing. I definitely have a long way to go but I really enjoy it. If anybody has questions or suggestions for L&D related posts let me know. I love talking about the stuff I'm learning.

10 months old!

2011-03-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

That baby boy I gave birth to is almost 11 months old. I can't believe he will be one in May! It makes me want to just cuddle with him all day. He actually had to get tubes in his ears and his adenoids removed due to recurrent ear infections today... so I'm getting to do just that, cuddle. He is doing wonderfully though.

I've officially been an RN, a pediatric RN, for over a year now. And though it's been challenging at times, I still love what I do, working with people's babies and nursing them to health. Children are so wonderful.

The challenging part has to do with the fact that I'm working nights and I feel just about "over it." I also would like to work less than 3 days a week. But with my husband thinking/praying about going back to school now doesn't seem to be the time to start working less.

I also still have a huge heart to work with women in labor and their babies. My first desire was always to be a L&D nurse. I love pediatrics but there if a L&D job became available I would definately consider it. But L&D jobs never seem to come open around here unless someone dies. Seriously.

I'm just praying that God would direct and guide our steps and give us wisdom and vision for the future. Because God knows we need it!

My Best Birth

2010-07-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

I delivered Judah 6 weeks ago and I'm still on a high about how everything went down. Every time I cuddle with him I remember the sweet night he was born. I can't image how things couldn't have been more perfect. Maybe I'm insane but all I remember is comfort and joy. I have two children. Their births were completely different. Both ended in the delivery of a healthy baby, but one was filled with utter joy and wonder, while the other was tampered by fear and feeling helpless.

With my first I believed what everyone told me. I watched the baby stories on TLC, saw the "natural" moms screaming their heads off and knew I didn't want that to be me. I received nothing but encouragement from the women at church to get the epidural and end the suffering that labor would inevitably inflict on me. I had never had a baby before. It was all unknown to me. So I simply believed the message, "you can't do this without pain meds", and "labor is the worst pain of your life."

I knew I didn't want a c-section but other than that I was open to interventions. I ended up being induced a week past my due date. And though I would have been happy to do it sooner, the whole experience made me feel helpless. I was at the mercy of the pitocin, the monitors, the clock, and the IV pole tethered to me. I couldn't go to the bathroom without help and once my water broke (9 hours before I had the baby) they wouldn't even let me get out of bed. They actually tried to make me use a bedpan before I got the epidural at 2cm and was catheterized. I felt pretty helpless. I did what they said and didn't question it. They epidural worked great for me and I delivered an 8.5 pound baby vaginally. But it felt unreal. Everything was fine. I was a new mom with a healthy baby.

Two years later and pregnant again, I knew I wanted things different. Maybe it was the fact that I had gone through nursing school, read tons of natural birth stories or discovered this interesting program called hypnobabies... but I was determined to ask questions this time and not just take the status quo. I started practicing Hypnobabies about half way through my pregnancy to prepare for labor. The term "self-hypnosis" turned me off at first but once I realized it was simply teaching your mind and body to completely relax (and it really works) I was on board. I would often fall asleep during the sessions and never was really sure it would work. But I started believing in myself and in my body... that labor was not something to be afraid of, but that my body was created for. To doubt that, was to doubt God's craftsmanship. And if the God wanted me to meditate on anything during pregnancy and labor, it was things that were good and true (certainly not fear or pain). For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. Hypnobabies, for me, was a tool in which to keep my mind focused and my body relaxed. Instead of fighting the contractions, I welcomed them. And my second child was born- without induction (a day past the due date), water broke naturally, total labor was about about 6 hours, natural and comfortable. I did not act like a wild woman. Got to the hospital at 6cm, laid in bed peacefully, did what I wanted and felt was right (which for me was resting in bed). I never doubted that my baby was safe and coming quickly. Pushing and feeling the pressure (not the horrific pain women always talk about) was exciting and empowering. Come to find out he was 11 pounds blew my mind away.

I don't want to preach natural childbirth here. I use to be a skeptic. I didn't think I could do it. The women who talked about birth and "empowerment" use to sound so cheesy to me. Having a baby is a miracle no matter how you do it. But I know there was a difference between my two birth experiences. Fear doesn't have to be a part of childbirth. And often, when fear is not present neither is pain.

So here are some tips from my experience if you would like to have comfortable, natural birth:

Believe you can do it. Whether you have a high pain tolerance or not, is not the matter, whether you feel insufficient, inadequate or inexperienced... as a woman, God created your body miraculously for this purpose. The majority of women are perfectly capable of delivering babies vaginally.

Train your mind to think positively about childbirth. You may have to stop watching TLC shows or listening to friends horror birth stories. Replace fear with positive affirmations. You may have to write down your fears about labor and work through them. Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong- imagine a calm, peaceful delivery and believe you will have that.

Become as knowledgable about labor and delivery as you can be. This is very important. Lack of knowledge causes fear. And as a patient want to be able to understand everything your doctor tells you. Don't be afraid to question. If they say your amniotic fluid is too low, ask what the number is. Do your research. Read a medical text book. Some doctors make decisions on what's best for them (i.e. trying to save themselves from getting sued) rather than what's particularly best for baby and mom. The majority of c-sections happen around 12pm and 6pm (that's doctor's lunch break and before he goes home from work). You need to be your own advocate. I'm not saying doctor's are your enemy. As a nurse, I work along side them. But you have a right to question and feel confident about your care.

Prepare for birth! You can't expect to make it very far in a marathon without training first. It's the same with birth. If you don't have a game plan you're probably not going to get very far. With my first, I really didn't know what type of coping strategies I was going to use and it was a flop during labor. My husband's, "just don't think about the pain" method didn't work, taking deep breaths helped until I felt like I couldn't breath anymore. Pitocin's never ending contractions had me begging for an epidural at 2cm. Have a plan and practice. I used Hypnobabies and started practicing around 20 weeks. If you're going to do deep relaxation practice when you feel stressed or every night before bed. When I had heartburn I would actually imagine my throat relaxing and it wouldn't bother me anymore.

Labor at home as long as possible. You will likely be more comfortable in your own environment. Set up pillows. Light candles. Have your husband hold you. Celebrate the fact that your baby is coming soon.

Avoid induction. I know inductions go well for a lot of people (myself included), but increases the risk of cesarean, especially if your body isn't ready. You will probably be hooked up to many monitors making it hard to find a comfortable position. And pitocin contractions are plain ole' nasty... there is hardly a break between them. A fullterm infant is described as one between 38-42 weeks so until your past 42 weeks you're not "postterm" and there's no medical need for induction.

Know that it is ok if things don't go as planned. It may sound contridictory to being in control and making the decisions for your birth experience, but there are simply going to be things you can't control. Some things you can- your care provider, your choice of hospital, pain management options, etc. But if things come up that you didn't plan for, just go with the flow. Just the fact that you stay calm and relaxed is going to make you appreciate and enjoy your birth no matter how it goes down. There were things that happened that originally weren't in my "birth plan." I was GBS positive and had to get an IV with antibiotics during labor. But you know what? I was so calm and focused I really didn't care. And though I request no pitocin during labor I ended up having to get it all night after I deliver to help with my bleeding... and that surprisingly didn't bother me either. I knew it would help me so I was fine with it. To enjoy your labor you may just have to relax make peace with things you can't or shouldn't change.

-------

Mainly, I want women to trust their bodies and trust that God knew what he was doing when he made you. Pregnancy is not a disease to be healed of. It can truly be an amazing experience, though it may get uncomfortable (especially at the end) bringing new life into the world is a miracle. It is an honor to be the vessel through which God brings new life into the world. And if want to do that naturally, don't let anyone tell you you are unable.

Hypnobabies

2010-06-28T09:12:00.000-07:00

I don't even remeber how I came across Hypnobabies but I know it was before I was even pregnant with Judah. I was amazed and almost in disbelief as I watched videos of women singing, smiling (and not screaming) during labor. I was hesitant to buy it as the word hypnosis is a turn off for us but the more I read about it the more I realized this type of childbirth hypnosis is simply an extremely relaxed and trained state of mind. It's really not weird at all and if makes natural birth comfortable and wonderful (which it did!) it was worth it.

Here is a video of me in labor, using the relaxation techniques:

My mom purchased the home study kit listed below for my Christmas present and I started practicing around 20 weeks. It was worth every dime! I've already loaned mine out to one woman and plan on sharing this with all my friends who want a natural childbirth.

The Birth of Judah Levi

2010-06-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

The birth of Judah Levi

The quick, natural, (mostly) peaceful birth of our very large baby boy!

Meeting our little man.

Last belly pic @ 40 weeks.

Hannah meeting her little brother.

Short version:

6:30pm- water broke
7:30- contractions 3-5 minutes apart
8:00- went to hospital
8:30- checked and 5-6cm dilated
9:15- 7cm
10:15-8cm
11:15-10cm and ready to push
11:58- Judah Levi is born!

My due date was May 4th, 2010 but all throughout my pregnancy I had been telling people my due date was May 5th just because I liked that day better. As I approached 40 weeks I began getting increasingly uncomfortable and was starting think Judah would be late like his older sister Hannah, our lovely toddler. I was walking twice a day and doing much to try to speed things a long but was still doubtful that Judah would make his appearance soon.

I went to my 40 week appointment at 9am on May 5th, feeling fairly optimistic though. The Lord had been working on some things in my heart (impatience, trusting Him, letting go of control, etc) so I resisted the urge to ask about induction. My doctor was fully of supportive of however I wanted to birth this child and was willing to give me as long as Judah would take. He checked me and my cervix was 2.5 cm (half a cm progress from last week) and my water bag was still bulging a little. He said he thought my water would break on it’s own soon; but since that’s what he said the week before I wasn’t very hopeful. My doctor also did a “membrane sweep” for the 3rd time. This is a procedure where the doctor “sweeps” a finger around the cervix separating the bag of water from the cervix in hopes of stimulating contractions. Thankfully, I never found it unpleasant and when he said he was going to be gentle, I said… “you really don’t have to be.”

I went about my day with Hannah. We got slushes from Sonic and went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. I began feeling more exhausted than usual and irritable. I had made tacos for our Cinco de Mayo dinner and was upset that I couldn't eat in peace when Hannah kept getting down from her chair and Aaron was trying to finish up some yard work. Eventually, Aaron came in, helped me with Hannah by getting her bath started... and when I got up from my chair to put my dishes away, felt the strange sensation of my water bag popping. I wasn't sure if that was it so I went to the bathroom. There was a very slight trickle, but when I bent over more came out so I knew this was it.

This was at 6:30pm. I took our dog for a walk, while Aaron got Hannah ready for bed. I had heard it could take hours to go into active labor so I wanted to give myself a head start. I had 2 mild contractions during the walk so I was excited to really see things moving. When I got home Aaron was cleaning the house and getting our bags ready... I had planned on taking a shower but almost immediately I had to start focusing through contractions so the shower idea went out the window. They were coming pretty fast somewhere between 4-5 minutes but I found it impossible to time them so I asked Aaron to help.

Originally, I was listening to my hypnobabies "birth day" affirmations track while I tried to help tidy up the house but Aaron forced me to lay on the couch and relax, which I was thankful for. I didn't even make it through the 40 minute CD track before I began feeling so uncomfortable I thought we might need to head to the hospital soon. Laying on the couch, I lost track of time but every time I had a contraction I would say "ok..." so Aaron could write it down. I did not know how fast my contractions were coming nor did I want to know. I was feeling more discomfort and kept feeling like I had to go to the bathroom. I kept trying to pee but couldn't and started feeling sick.

At some point Aaron sent a text to my mom saying she needed to come now because my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. This was at 7:30pm, only one hour after my water breaking. I felt somewhat like a wuss that I would be feeling so much discomfort so early and was hoping we weren't going to the hospital too early. I thought in doing so I would be "tempted" to get pain meds. (Keep in mind I got the epidural at 2cm with Hannah). But at the same time, I did not want to be stuck having the baby at home.

My mom, a nurse, arrived shortly after and thought I might be in transition. I was starting to moan a little, feel pressure, saying I needed to use the bathroom and feeling like I was going to throw up. I laid down for a contraction, tried my best to enter self-hypnosis, as Aaron packed the car... and as soon as the contraction was up I was out the door and ready to go. The car ride wasn't that bad. I had my hypnobabies playing on my Ipod the entire time and I felt I was really able to relax. I noticed Aaron speed out of the driveway, but told him he didn’t have to drive so fast, I was ok.

Aaron and I walked, albeit slowly, into the E.R around 8pm. I saw the waiting room full of people, was afraid of having to wait and asked the lady at the desk, "can I please go to L&D?" I think it's funny I was so polite. We waited a few minutes for a wheel chair but were on our way shortly. The transport was trying to tell me about all her grandchildren and all I could think was, "stop talking to me, lady, I don't want to hear about your grandchildren..." so I ignored her and focused on my hypnobabies. When I made it to our L&D room I was barely able to walk. Our nurse, Merry, seemed sweet and asked me to put on the gown and give a urine sample. Seriously? Impossible. I could not pee at all, and she said that was just fine. I was checked at 8:30pm (2 hours post water breaking) and found to be between 5-6cm. Not quite in transition but not bad either.

Aaron gave the nurse our birth plan and everyone was great about honoring our wishes. The lights were kept dim and for the most part the nurses spoke to Aaron first before approaching me, as I listened to my hypnobabies scripts and focused through each contraction. If anyone tried to talk to me while I was having a contraction, I would completely ignore them, and there was something empowering about that. Most everyone got the point.

In my birth plan I had said I wanted to be as mobile as possible. I imagined myself bouncing on a birth ball, walking the halls or rocking… but the funny thing is once I was at the hospital the most comfortable position I found and the only one I wanted to be in was almost flat on my back found and knees relaxed, bent up. Odd, right? I think psychologically I was just ready to push Judah out. But even laying on my side wasn’t as comfortable.

At 9:15pm I started feeling more intense pressure and asked to be checked. I was so eager to push this baby out. I was now 7cm and still focusing on my relaxation even though I would get intense urges to push every now and then. Pretty much from the moment I got the hospital my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. But the wonderful thing was, my breaks between them were pure bliss, so much so I almost didn‘t feel in labor. No matter how much pressure I felt, I knew they would always end, just like a wave that comes crashing to the shore and then resides. I never felt that when I was induced with Hannah.

I feel that my labor at the hospital (period between 7-10cm) was actually easier than my labor at home. I (with Aaron’s help) really got a groove going…. I wouldn’t necessarily say I was listening to my hypnobabies tracks in detail but I focused on the words I needed to. At one point the relaxation almost felt overwhelming and like I really had taken something for pain. I loved the rest periods between contractions.

When I had a contraction, or “pressure wave” as hypnobabies calls them, I would tell my body to fall completely “loose, limp and relaxed” and specifically focus on relaxing my pelvic organs. Aaron wasn’t totally into the self-hypnosis thing, but was more than willing to do what I asked. My favorite thing he did was press his hand on my forehead every time a contraction would come and remind me of relaxation cue word- “peace.” The pressure on my forehead felt so good and truly aided my body in turning off and letting go. He did this through almost every contraction. I did not want to be touched anywhere else. Unless you were looking at the monitors you would barely know I was contracting but if Aaron wasn’t watching I would simply say “hand” and he knew what to do. Awesome man!

At 10:15 I was now 8cm. The nurses called my doctor to come in. For the next 45 minutes or so there were certain contractions where my body irresistibly would bear down and I would get more vocal. But since I was not 10cm yet, I was told to try not push. I could not help it. I went from 8 to 9 and finally to 10cm at 11:15pm and I was finally given “permission” to push. Pushing really is involuntary when you don’t have drugs. That was a whole new experience. At times it was overwhelming. I let out “ahhhs” and ohhs,” shook, involuntarily regurgitated the tacos I had eaten for dinner. But pushing meant Judah was almost here and I was saying, “thank you, Jesus.”

I’m not sure how long I pushed until his head was out. I felt intense pressure, but I can honestly tell you I never felt the ring of fire. The next part of the story, however, is probably the most painful thing of my life. After having a relatively calm, drama-free birth, don’t read the following if you intend on delivering an 11 pound baby that may get stuck inside you.

I always thought that once the head was out, that was it, the rest of the baby just slides right out, right? Not so with Judah. Once his head was out I felt relief, the contraction was over, but they told me I needed to keep pushing to get his shoulders out. I tried, but nothing happened… kept trying, still nothing happened. Two words: shoulder dystocia. That was when I felt the most horrible pain of my life as my doctor had to literally stick his hands up there and try to pull Judah out. And it wasn’t just for a short time, it was at least a few minutes. I felt all of the maneuvering, twisting, pulling and turning and kept hoping that it would be over soon. They told me I needed to keep pushing but I asked them if I could wait for a contraction. They said no, I needed to push now. At this point I was screaming at the top of my lungs like this quiet little Bridget has never screamed before, pretty much begging them to stop. They did not heed my pleas for mercy and finally one nurse made me look in her the eye, focus and push… focusing on her face helped… and after what felt like an eternity, the rest of his body slid out. I’m telling you it was the hardest, most painful 3-5 minutes I’ve ever gone through in my life.

There was a good reason for it though. Judah was born at 11:28pm, May 5th, 2010.… weighing 10lbs 15oz and 22 inches long. His mommy is 5’2’’ and weighed 114 before she had him. I literally had no idea he would be that big. I kept asking, “how does that happen?!” And “what in the world was God trying to do to me??” Everyone was amazed. I don’t know anyone who has birthed a baby that much, much less naturally. If someone would have told me he was going to be that big I would not have believed them.

Judah was having a little trouble breathing and they were worried about him having a fractured collar bone so he was taken from my right away. In the video you might notice him not moving his right arm. It took him a few minutes to cry but once he did it was the most beautiful sound. I was stitched up from a second degree tear (pretty much in the same spot I tore having Hannah) and of course got local anesthetic for that.

Another somewhat sad part of the story is that I did not get to see much of Judah for the first night. I spent a few minutes with him but they wanted to do some more intense monitoring in the nursery… to make sure his lungs would clear up and also to do an x-ray. His clavicle was found to be not fractured (thank God!) but he was having a hard time moving it from being stretched. The doctor had to pull on shoulder out. I wasn’t able to breastfeed because they wanted to keep Judah from being stimulated until his lungs were clear. I pretty much did not see my baby for the rest of the night, as he rested and was observed, until around 7am. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep and stayed up all night thinking about him and replaying the birth in my mind.

When we reunited in the morning, it was a sweet moment for the 3 of us. He felt so heavy and looks like a little football player. Thick neck, chubby cheeks, still a little swollen from birth, a little cone head full of short, dark hair that will hopefully stay (love babies with hair!) He’s even got little sideburns and little hairs on his ears- it’s so cute. He’s been breastfeeding like a pro and we are totally in love! And Judah is completely healthy… cleared by the pediatrician to go. Everyone keeps stopping by our room to see this big, beautiful baby boy. So far he seems to have a relaxed, laid back personality.

Everything seemed to happen so fast, it was a shock to suddenly have little Judah with us, but we are soaking up every minute. Hannah came the next morning with my mother and is adjusting very well to her little brother. She was shy to hold him, but once she did, she didn’t want to put him down.

It’s not even 2 days later and feel amazing. My bottom really isn’t even that sore. I remember it much worse with Hannah and my only complaint is I feel a little achy all over my body… the nurse said that’s because I probably used every muscle when I pushed out that baby. I’ve only taken some Motrin twice for the after pains, but they’re not even that bad.

We are so blessed! God is so good and we are excited to see our family of 4 adjust to life at home shortly.

Getting back to blogging!

2010-06-28T08:44:00.001-07:00

Well, I haven't been on blogger in ages. I went back and have been posting on xanga. But a lot has happened since my last update.

1) I graduated nursing school in December.

2) I got my first job as RN on a pediatric med-surg floor. I started work 7 months pregnant.

3) Delivered our second child 2 months ago... who turned out to be an 11 pounder... au natural! With his birth came a fresh wind of ideas for mommy blog posts so be on the lookout for that! And I will be posting the birth story on here soon. Warning, it's rather long.

Winners

2009-10-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

Congrats averyswife, w4lucy and Carissa! You 3 are the winners of the giveaway. Since there were only 12 commentors, instead of using one of those random number generators I had my husband randomly pick 3 numbers... and you were on of them!

Thanks to all who participated!

Giveaway- Wet Ones Antibacterial Wipes

2009-10-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

Being a nursing student, proper hand-washing was one of the first things I learned coming into nursing school. Did you know hand-washing is the #1 way to prevent the spread of infection? You can wear gloves, cover your nose and mouth and take your Vitamin C but hand washing is still the number way to prevent the spread of illness.

I recently received 2 free canisters of Wet Ones antibacterial hand and face wipes that are just great for moms who have toddlers. Only God knows what kinds of germs our little babies carry around on their fingertips. From wiping their snotty noses, to playing with the trashcan, to playing with the potty... they get into everything. And having an easy way to clean those little hands frequently is a blessing!

The cool thing about these Wet Ones canisters is that fit easily into your cup holder so you can take them on the go and they won't dry out your skin like other alcohol-based sanitizers. The best part- they kill 99.99% of germs. It's one little thing you can do to prevent your little one from getting sick, especially this flu season.

What's in it for you?

The company has offered to send a free container of Wet Ones antibacterial wipes to 3 of my readers. So that means 3 of you will win!

To enter this giveaway simply leave a comment and leave me with someway to contact you. The drawing will be next Wednesday and I will announce the winners then! Good luck!

1st prenatal appointment tommorow

2009-09-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

First appointment tommorow @ 1:30pm. I'm so excited!

And I'm hoping Aaron can come. Last pregnancy he could only make it to my ultrasounds but now since his schedule is flexible he thinks he'll be making it home early tomorrow. It would be great if he could.

Maybe I'll try to talk her into "trying" to hear the heartbeat on a doppler. That would be amazing! I know it's early (I'm supposedly 6wks/5 days) but who knows... I have a thin abdominal wall and perhaps may dates are a little off? The thought of having twins has come across my mind a time or two. I am a fraternal twin, so it runs it's in my genes, and I don't really have anything that's making me think that though.

My grammar is horrible right now because I'm tired and looking at the computer screen makes me feel sick. But I just wanted to say I'm excited about my appointment tomorrow! I'll have to share any exciting news later.

When someone tells you they're pregnant.

2009-09-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

When a woman tells you she's pregnant. It's a big deal. And what you say in response to that is a big deal too. The purpose of this essay is to encourage you, whenever that moment happens, to choose your words wisely.

You may be in shock, you may be surprised, and you just may say something that sounds confusing or hurtful, even if you didn't mean to say it that way. It's amazing what some people say when they're met with a shocker like "I'm pregnant." And I really can't blame them. Because of most of the not-so-happy comments are the very same thoughts I mulled over myself when I first saw those 2 lines in the bathroom. But still, people, please try your best to regain your composer for the hormonal pregnant woman's sake and say something really nice!

Things you should say: I'm so excited for you! Congratulations! That's wonderful!

Things you should not say: Whoa! That was fast. Were you guys even trying? You might look a little fat at graduation but at least you'll have the baby after your out of school. You may have trouble getting hired though.

Not all of that was said to me, but some of it was. When a woman realizes she is pregnant she has often has a flood of emotions. Excitement and joy, yes. But also sometimes feelings of fear and inadequacy. It's normal to feel those things, no matter who you are and where you are in life. So when you share the news with friends and family the last thing you want to hear is a comment that reiterates you inadequateness or validates your own concerns, however real they may be.

Point B, pregnant women are usually a hormonal mess. One negative sounding comment can send us to tears in an instant. We're extra sensitive, so coat those first words with pillows of love and comfort. I chose not to share the news until I felt emotionally stable enough to answer people's questions and be prepared for these types of comments. It took time for things to sink in for me. It took about a week for me to wrestle and overcome my doubt, hold on to my husbands hand and start believing God for the good things has for us in the future. And now I'm really excited! But those first few days I felt like a time bomb just waiting to go off.

Anyway, dear friends, we all have a right to be less than excited when a friend announces a pregnancy, but I'm asking you, as a woman who is 6 weeks pregnant, please, for her sake, tell her how much you believe in her. :o)

Edit: Thank GOD I have a husband who did a great job in this area and no matter how surprised he was, displayed his excited to be having another baby. He has been my strength these last few days. And He has encouraged me to wait before the Lord and listen to the plan HE has.... The very plan God is about to lay before us in a whole new way.

We're expecting baby #2

2009-09-07T20:13:00.001-07:00

Unofficial due date May 5, 2010.
We found out a few weeks ago.
Praise God for a precious new life!
1st Dr. visit is next Monday.
Feeling ok so far, just pretty tired.
Pray for grace I continue my clinicals and finish strong my last semester!

Amazing childbirth

2009-09-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

So this might freak some of you out, but being a nursing student I am absolutely fascinated with this stuff. Below is an computerized animation of a baby being born vaginally. I discovered this video during my OB rotation. Notice how the baby turns at just the right time so his head can fit through the pelvis, and then rotates again so the shoulders can fit through. Amazing. God has enabled our bodies to do amazing things!

The Lord has heard our cry (for a nice clinical instructor)!

2009-08-26T18:01:00.000-07:00

Praise GOD for an awesome clinical instructor! (I know there may be some of my fellow clinical peeps reading this, so let's keep our fingers crossed that we aren't let down). But seriously, I think I've been really blessed for the 1st half of this semester. Mrs. A, as I will call her, is a fun, laid-back, "keep your cool" type of person. She is not the "hover over your shoulder" type. Nor is she the intimidating, "you need to prove to me your worthiness type." I am so surprised as to how comfortable she made us all feel today. A sharp contrast to some instructors I've had in the past.

We're on a Med-Surgical/multi-purpose floor at Northshore Regional Hospital. During my second semester of nursing school I was on a med-surg floor so I'm pretty sure I'll be pretty comfortable with it. Except this time we'll be having 2-4 patients and taking turns being a "team leader." I think it's going to go fine. When I only had one patient I remember sometimes having so much time on my hands I didn't know what to do, so I would just hang out and chat with the patient. That's great, but since we're all graduating this semester we need to get use to having a larger patient load.

Aaron's parents have booked tickets to fly down from Minnesota to see me graduate. So that really puts the pressure on for me to do good this semester. Still thinking constantly about being a L&D nurse (subscribed to a few wonderful nurse's blogs) but have yet to work my resume'.

Of course, Hannah is doing just fine at Kristen's playing with Lili all day. My schedule is so great this semester. Since my class/clinical is the evening. I chill at home all morning with Hannah, drop her off at Kristen's around noon and then head to class. Aaron picks her up on his way home from work and I usually get home between 7-8pm (that is until clinical start up). Anyway, Hannah comes home with SO much energy she'll literally run around the house screaming her head off. Now where did she learn that from? Hmm. Her friend Lili (age 2.5) is a great influence on her. After all, Hannah peed on the potty for Kristen probably because she saw Lili doing it. Don't ya' just love how kids show off for other adults except their parents?

Hannah being a stinker.

Planned verses unplanned pregnancy.

2009-08-24T06:38:00.001-07:00

I started writing for a website called the Examiner. I get paid based on how many people view my articles. I feel like I have a lot going on right now but since writing is one of my passions I don't mind taking a little extra time to get paid for something I love to do.

Here is one article that I really put a lot of thought into:

Planned verses unplanned pregnancy.

Posted using ShareThis

Starbucks giftcard

2009-08-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

I jut got this ($10 dollars of free Starbucks) in the mail a few days ago, and didn't pay a dime for it. There is a program called "Swagbucks" that allows you to search the web and get points for doing just that. You also get points when your refer people. Over time you accumulate enough points to cash in for things like a Starbucks gift card. It could take just a few weeks depending on how often you search the web. It took me 1-2 months to get this, but already I'm have way there to getting another one. You just can't beat free Starbucks. Coffee is totally my weakness.

So if you've already signed up for swagbucks, use it! And if you haven't use the link below to instantly gain 3 free swagbucks.

(Swagbucks: Start here!)

Coupon Organizer $1 @ Target

2009-08-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a new way to organize coupons, have a Target near you and $1 dollar to spare you're in luck!

I found this neat folder/organizer in my local Target's one dollar section. It's larger and more studier than those cheap cardboard organizers and even comes with customizable labels. I saw pink, green and clear but thought this one was the cutest. Let me know if you get one of these!

Battle Scar

2009-08-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Our friend Kristen who watches Hannah while I'm at school recently got an extremely large "puppy" German shepherd. When I brought Hannah over there yesterday I could tell Hannah was going to have to learn how to defend herself. This dog could knock me over much less my 3 foot daughter. Anyway, Hannah adores dogs so I knew she would have no problem. However, Hannah came home with this.

Kristen said the girls were in a room playing with the dog and when she walked in she found this on Hannah's face and freaked. Hannah had no idea what was going on. Thankfully, she had no hard feelings after the event happened and even though the dog was now outside Hannah still wanted to play with it. The scary thing is, the scratch is really close to her eye and goes all the way to her ear. Thank God for watching over her.

God is faithful

2009-08-17T12:54:00.001-07:00

August 2007 (1st semester of nursing school)

August 2009 (last)

God Cares About Our Words

2009-08-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

What we say is important to God.

The words we share in conversation, the whispers we mumble under our breath, and yes, even those unspoken thoughts. His Word, has a lot to say about our words. Take these scriptures for example:

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:26

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Proverbs 13:3

"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit." Proverbs 7:27

"...to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men." Titus 3:2

Pretty raw, right? God knows how much power there is within our words. Heck, He spoke the world into existence. If we could truly deal with this issue of holding our tongue and finally overcome (by his grace) the wrong thought patterns that dictate what we say, can you imagine how much more our lives would be full of peace? Imagine- your home a well overflowing with encouragement. Proverbs 7:27 says a (wo)man of knowledge chooses her words wisely and is of a "calm" spirit.

This is completely opposite of what our culture teaches, isn't it? By nature we are slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to be angry! We have freedom of speech. We're encouraged to say what we feel, it's self expression... "and if I'm angry, I'm going to let the whole world know."

But have you ever met a man or women of wisdom like the one Proverbs talks about? These people often have a quiet strength about them. They are full of wisdom and authority. They lead and influence the people around them not by raising their voice or demanding that others listen to them. They don't have to. Their very presence demands a second glance because there is an aura of peace that surrounds them. And that peaces comes from a life, a mouth, a heart humble and submitted before God. They don't have to defend themselves, because God does. They don't have to make there presence or opinion known, because they know that God will give them the perfect opportunity to speak. And when they do open their mouths, their words are flaming with purpose and passion.

I want to be like that. Don't you? So where do we start?

Women are talkative by nature and I don't think God has anything against that. He made us that way! What I think He's getting at is the heart of the issue. The root of where our words are stemming from. If the motivation of what we're about to say is stemming from selfishness, greed, anger, manipulation, etc. we need to hold that tongue. If it's anything that would not glorify God we need to take some time to realign our hearts with His. If Jesus were sitting directly across from you, would you say what you so desperately want to in the heat of the moment?

This is one of those things where it's easier said than done. But I think it's a day by day process. Daily, as we submit our hearts and wills to Christ, as we offer up ourselves to be used for him and his glory, dwelling on all that he did to show us how much he loves us... I think we will find it easier to refrain from "foolish talk." After all, holding our tongue is small price to pay in the light of the suffering Jesus went through to make us holy, right? Plus, he has given us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us on a daily basis if we choose to let Him. Key word "choose."

Dwell on God's amazing love for you, his passion to see you made whole and walking in freedom. Strive to live a life that brings glory to Him. Don't hold back the encouragement you have for your husband, your children or your friends. Don't hesitate to lavish the love of God on them. When you feel the Holy Spirit nudging you to share, do so. But in those times of weakness remember, your words are powerful, so choose them wisely. God cares.

Win-dixie savings (w/ coupons)

2009-08-13T18:10:00.000-07:00

I usually do my grocery shopping at Walmart or Target but this week I noticed Win-dixie had some great deals. One major positive is that they actually mark down meat when it's about to expire (which I've found Walmart does not, I think they throw it out before even gets close to expiration). Anyway, I will definately be going back. Our local Win-dixie has tranformed into a gourmet-inspired store that seems to have good discounts. Plus, Hannah got a free chocolate chip cookie that kept her sweet and happy even though our grocery run was past her bedtime.

Blue bell icecream on sale 2/$7 + 2 $1 off coupons from here= $2.50 each

Pecan Honey Bunches of Oats FREE with coupon
Yoplait Fiber one 4-pack 2.79- free coupon from Psst =FREE

17 oz Bertolli EVOO 2/$ 8.49= $4.24 each

Tuna steaks originally $4-5= marked down $1.50 each

Coffeemate $2 + $1 off coupon= $1

Windixie baby carrots B1G1 free $1.89= .94 cents each
Kraft Cesar dressing on sale $2.00 + $1.50 off= .50 cents
2lbs red kidney beans= $1.29 each

Wonder whole grain bread= $2

Total before sale prices and coupons $65.28

Amount saved by using coupons $ 11.78

Total paid $35.14

Almost RN.

2009-08-12T09:24:00.001-07:00

I'm gearing up for my last semester of nursing school, which starts on Monday, so that explains my lack of posts. But I do have a lot of things on my heart that I want to share soon, hopefully in the next few days.

I'm both nervous and excited about the next few months. It feels like just yesterday that I was brand new nursing student. I have learned so much, yet there is so much to be learned. That's the cool thing about nursing, the possibilities are endless.

This last rotation I will be working in ICU (critical care) and learn about team management. I think that means I'll either have numerous patients or practice being a charge nurse/delegate tasks. There is much to accomplish in the next few months. From simply passing the course, to graduating, to taking the NCLEX and landing a job. It is very exciting and in advance I want to give all the glory to God!

Pretty girl.

2009-08-09T21:29:00.001-07:00

Peanut butter + english muffin=

fascination

She is doing much better, praise God! No bad symptoms since yesterday morning. It is so hard keeping track of a toddler. I can't go to the bathroom without wondering if I'm going to find her on the table, on the arm of the couch or locked in a closet somewhere. Seriously, one day she had gotten into a box of glass tea light candles (that was sitting on the kitchen table, mind you) and successfully stacked ten+ of them on top of each other. Talk about the leaning toward of Pisa. It's a miracle she hasn't been seriously injured yet. His grace is great and his protection... much needed in this household. That's Jesus loving the little children for you. :o)

Freak out this morning...

2009-08-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last night at about 2am Hannah started crying. Not a big deal, right? We assumed she was just getting her last few teeth in. But the crying lasted on and off all night. Aaron was up with her for a lot of the time but ended up frustrated because had to go to work this morning. At about 6am I got up with her and decided to just start the day early. But the way Hannah was crying was absolutely heartbreaking. You know that, "I'm so tired I can barely even express my pain type of cry?" She would rest her head on my chest, calm down and then start crying again.

I noticed she kept reaching for the back of her neck like her neck was hurting. Thought it was a fluke (maybe she was reaching for her ears?) but she kept doing it. I touched her neck and she flinched. I asked her to show me her "bobo" and she said bobo and reached for neck again. This is where I started to get worried for one of two reasons. A) Bacterial and viral meningitis is not uncommon in young children Hannah's age and what starts as a little flu can end up deadly if not treated immediately. Although Hannah had no fever, sore neck and headache are also telltale symptoms. B) She had two little falls yesterday. She fell off while standing on the toilet and then again trying to climb out of the bath tub.

So call me a little paranoid but that's what nursing school will do to you. Because she had no fever I wasn't too worried about the meningitis, but I was worried she may hurt self falling yesterday. I didn't see her hit her head but you never know... and an internal bleed is often symptom free until hours later. I called up my mom (who is a nurse) and of course talking about her granddaughter she suggested going immediately to the ER to be safe. I called Aaron and he did not want me going to the ER, saying it was probably just teething or an earache.

I distracted Hannah with breakfast and she start acting a lot better. She stopped crying as much even though she still was pulling at her neck. I decided to continue with my morning and keep a very close eye on her and so far she seems a lot better. As of now I think she may have pulled a muscle in her neck but that fierce mother/nurse in me is keeping a hawk's eye on her.

So this my adventurous Saturday morning. Please keep Hannah in your prayers for whatever it is.

Weekly Walmart Run & Meal plan

2009-08-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

For over a week I had been anticipating taking advantage of this Kraft deal here, but just yesterday I found out my Save-a-lot is not participating. I was so excited about getting free groceries. I had been saving up my Kraft coupons, but oh well. I really needed to make a grocery run today to get fresh produce. I had a little "emergency" with my daughter Hannah this morning that I will talk about in my next post. So I know I could have gotten better deals on some of these items but this was good enough for me:

Bananas 4.43lbs @ .30/lb- $1.33

Romaine lettuce on sale for .83

Peaches on sale for .94/lb got 3 lbs

Roma tomatoes .97/lb got 1lb

Cilantro .66

Geen bell pepper on sale for .34 got 2.

GV french fries $1.88

Dole Pineapple bites 2 at .98 each (used this coupon here and a buy 1 get one sticker on product= both free)

4 bags 2% Kraft cheese 1.98 each, .98 after coupons (used 4 $1 off coupons from here) Print 2 per computer. Simply hit the back button and click refresh.

2 boxes chopped spinach .98 each

GV peas $2.08

Yoplait Yoplus 4-pack 1.08 after $1 dollar off coupon

Italian sausage $3.50 (I thought this was on sale for $3.. oops)

Tropicana OJ $1.73 after this $1 off coupon

GV lite sour cream $1.06

GV cool whip .88

**Note as a general rule, most coupons sites alow you to hit the back button and print the coupon twice.

Subtotal $33.31 Amount after coupons $25.35 Saved $7.98

As you can tell we love our fresh produce!

Meal Ideas

Breakfasts: Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, frozen pastries, or cereal.

Lunches: Salad, turkey sandwiches, fresh fruit or leftovers

Dinners:

Leftover pizza from Cafe Roma
Spicy Black bean soup with sour cream, tomatoes and fresh cilantro
Lasagna with salad (will freeze leftovers)
Soft tacos with black bean dip
Slow cooker chicken with a side of peas and baked potatoes
Shred leftover slow cooker chicken and make chicken salad on bread or over lettuce with a side of french fries and fruit

Money Saving tip: Having too much food leftover is not always a bad thing! Why not portion whatever is leftover of your meal into individual plastic containers and stick in the freezer. Then when your in a hurry or at a loss of what to cook, instead of reaching for a frozen dinner your family can each choose what type of meal they want to reheat and enjoy. I freeze even the smallest bit of leftovers because you never know what that will be the perfect meal/lunch or snack.

2009-08-07T15:47:00.000-07:00

This song has been stuck in my head since I heard it. There is something that happens when you completely hand over your life to Christ. It's not always understood by the world or the ones you love. But you are awakened to new life. You see things different than before. You know the hope of the Savior and the glorious promise of his coming. You are overwhelmed by his love...

Romancing your Husband

2009-08-03T01:18:00.000-07:00

My husband is amazing. Like. Really amazing. Sure, he has his bad days. But let me tell you if you met him you'd wish you married him before I did. He is cute, corny, romantic, cheesy, extremely handsome... but most of all he looks/acts more like Jesus than any other man I've met. He is an inspiration to me. His ability to endure what would have sent my often silent-but-deadly temper through the roof, bewilders me. He has patience. He may argue with that, but compared to my womanly "I want to know now" personality, he's my Hero.

Hero's are great, but they need a break too sometimes. Due to my husbands strength in areas where I am weak, I tend to look at him as a superhero of some sort. When really, he needs encouragement and love just as much as I do.

So this summer as I've been enjoying my break from nursing school I've taken initiative to really develop myself not only as a mother, but as a wife. I truly believe to be the best mother I can be, I need first love and admonish my husband. Our family is a team and if one member is lacking, we all fall.

Anyway, to the romance! I borrowed a book I found interesting off my mom's bookshelf called "Romancing your Husband," by Debbie Smith. (You should have seen the look on my husbands face when he saw the title- he was more excited about the book than I was.) I loved the book, very easy going and practical. I felt like I was chatting over coffee with a friend/mentor. Here are some key points I personally took to heart:

Be a lover-wife, not mother-wife. It happens all too often. Wives treat their husbands like children. This can happen unintentionally, for instance like it has with me at times. I want my husband to help around the house but then I don't like the way he does things so I do it myself. For example, he's cooking dinner and I want to step in and take charge and tell him what spices to put in, etc. These kind of things can belittle our husbands and make them not want to help at all. Give them the freedom to serve and express their masculinity in their own unique way. If that means you're having a mystery meal for dinner or you find your kids wearing something that completely doesn't match (thanks, Dad!)... at least he's wanting to help, what a blessing! Thank him for it, encourage him in it. When you feel the nudge to step in and take charge, don't. Think "space and grace." Give your husbands the opportunity to make mistakes (you may be surprised) and love them even when they do.
Remain faithful to your husband not just physically, but in word and thought. There's a phrase the author uses called "verbal fidelity." It means despite how "unsmart" or wrong you feel your husband may have acted you don't go talking or complaining to others about it. And you don't entertain those bitter thoughts in your heart. You pray to God, confess your feelings to him and with a right and loving heart, you approach those issues with your husband. After prayer, your husband may actually come to you or perhaps there will be a divine opportunity to talk about those things together. "The faithful wife makes certain that when others are looking at her (children, friends, etc.) every action speaks loyalty... Fidelity is not about putting on a show. It stems from a pure heart before God and flows forth as a natural consequence of what's in the soul."
Get into God's presence. "A divine intimacy develops through regularly absorbing the presence of God." We have to trust God before we can trust our husbands. And trust is one of the major building blocks of real intimacy.

If your relationship with your spouse is not a healthy one, I encourage you to seek help. And if this whole idea of intimacy/romance with God seems foreign to you, let me know an we can talk about that. But for know let us strive to be in right relationship with our Creator so we can truly be in unity with our spouses.

What are some unique ways you have found to romance your husband? And if you're not married, do you feel your respect the men in your life? Why, or why not?

Video: Ultrasound

2009-08-03T01:01:00.000-07:00

I am still amazed every time I watch this video. This is my now toddler when she weighed about 2lbs and was still inside my uterus. The miracle of life. A beating heart. Outstretched hands and legs. Sucking fingers. A potential to change this world. To God be the glory.

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."

-Psalm 139:13-14

Video: My daughter's 1st year

2009-08-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

Just a little forewarning, this video may make you want to toss the birth control- if you're taking any. I put this slideshow together in honor of our beautiful baby girl's 1st birthday. She is now 19 months. The song is by Joy Williams, "Here with us." I first heard this song when I was 9 months pregnant (December 2007) and it immediately struck my heart.

I realized "the same miracle Mary experienced, I am experiencing now. I may not be giving birth to the Savior of the world. But I'm about to give birth to a child who will change and touch the world around her.

And her potential is boundless..."

Welcome!

2009-08-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog. My name is Bridget. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world, Aaron. We have one beautiful daughter-toddler. My sometimes simple, sometimes overly adventrous life has been made sweet by my Lord Jesus Christ who has given me more than I could ask for. It's because of his love for me, that I write. I am currently in my last semester of nursing school and aspire to be a labor and delivery nurse one day soon. I decided to make this blog a place where I could share on both professional topics and personal ones. I love to write about the things I'm passionate about, as deep and profound or silly they may be.

I'll range from sharing lessons learned in loving my husband and raising my daughter, to chatting about pregnancy and childbirth (something I'm still in awe of) and also sharing recipes, great finds and coupons.

I want moms to be encouraged. And not only moms, but every woman who comes across this website. There are times I feel like just one in a million, with a voice only dreaming of being heard, but then I remember the love of God that saved me. My motto is this- because His love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

Jesus has made my life sweet and I hope that aroma is spread to you! Enjoy browsing through this site and thanks for stopping by.